For what felt like forever, my body just didn't belong to me. If you’ve been there, you know exactly what I mean. It was that constant, nagging fear that I wasn't making enough for my baby. I was living in a cycle of stress that I just couldn't escape.
First, I would have a bad pump day where I barely saw an ounce. Then, almost like clockwork, I would panic and try to chug gallons of water or eat those expensive lactation cookies.
I would just end up feeling bloated and still empty.
It was exhausting.
Mentally, it wore me down. I felt like a failure, and I felt totally hopeless most days. I honestly felt gross and broken.
I just wanted to be able to pump out enough and take a break.
My confidence hit rock bottom. Every single night, I would dread that 3 AM pump session because I knew I would sit there for 45 minutes just to see "blue water" at the bottom of the bottle.